monster lens model

Hilarious Customer Reviews & Photos for the Sigma 200-500mm

Last Updated on September 9, 2015 by PixelPluck

Read these Hilarious Customer Reviews & Photos for the Sigma 200-500mm.
There are lots of extremely expensive gear for sale on various eCommerce websites and that gives photographers some creative freedom to explain how they intend to use that particular gear. The $26,000 35-pound monster green Sigma 200-500mm f/2.8 probably has the funniest customer reviews and images. Here are a collection of best rib tickling reviews of the super expensive monster lens.

Only $743 per pound !

It’s a bargain, at only $743 per pound. AND, it has a nice top-mounted carry handle, which also serves well for tying on a rope to anchor your boat. My Nikon D800 cost $1,364 per pound and does NOT have the anchor rope handle.

Well worth the sacrifice…

Some may feel that this lens is a tad pricey but many forget about the needless things in their life that they can sell in order to purchase this beast. I immediately sold my vehicle because I was finally able to convince myself that I only use my vehicle a couple hours out of the day. It was sad that I even had to contemplate selling my car for this camera attachment but to somewhat justify my hesitation in selling it, I do drop off my children at school and use it as transportation to and from work every day. So, once I sold it, I realized that I had to come up with another $21,000.

I tried selling my apartment, but my landlord indicated that I could not legally do that. Whatever, Jim (Because I have learned not to burn bridges from past experiences, I stopped having open houses. Plus, the lawyer and court fees would put a damper on my upcoming Amazon purchase). Where was I going to come up with this $21,000? That’s when a Sigma light bulb went off in my head.

I sold my two children to the Pesticide & Insecticide Testing Corporation. I feel it was a solid move on my part because they explained that my (now their’s) children would always have enough to eat, exercise every day, and have a doctor present 24/7. With the money I made with this no-brainer sell and the under-the-table cash my wife was getting from working on the prestigious corner of Main Street and Almond Street, I was finally able to make the purchase of a lifetime.

I even had some extra cash leftover, so I decided to buy my first digital camera. This green monster looks great on my brand new Canon Rebel XSi. Thanks Sigma!

future of lenses

Almost better than my $150 55-500mm Point and Shoot!

Good deal from Amazon. I was actually just surfing around looking for a replacement point and shoot camera when I happily stumbled upon the sigma zoom lens. When I saw that it was $38,000 I knew I had to have it. But then I saw that it was on sale for only $24,000. Oh Joy. I ordered two of them. For only 20 grand more, I now have two 100 pound lenses. They fit nicely on my old $50 Pentax SLR.

I tried this lens while shooting birds at Yosemite but the park ranger called the SWAT team on me because he thought I was trying to bazooka the wildlife. End of trip.

I finally zoomed in!
I finally zoomed in!

I needed a crowd photo for my art director but four cop cars drew down on me because they thought I was trying to fire a missile at pedestrians. End of shooting session.

I finally was able to use this lens to break down the front door to my home because I locked myself out the other day. It broke the door down nicely but unfortunately, the lens shattered in the process. It’s a good thing that I purchased two of these.

In short, if you are looking to pay over 100 times more for a telephoto zoom lens instead of a point and shoot zoom camera for a little under $200, this is absolutely a steal at $24K because you’re saving $10K on the purchase. Oh, did I mention it’s free shipping on this item?

The downside is that I can’t keep this lens in the house because it scares my children and pets. But so be it, I love this lens.

sigma 200-500mm apo

The “Big Bang” Looks Beautiful From Here

I purchased this lens with the intent to look back in space-time and see the Big Bang unfold first hand. I must say it was a little difficult to find the correct line of visibility within the Hubble Deep Field, but after a few precision adjustments, I was finally looking at the origins of our universe. Seriously Awesome!

I don’t want to spoil it for you, but you CAN make out God quite nicely while he’s assembling the fundamental forces of physics. Teaser: He’s NOT a white dude with a beard!

Pro fotog

This is a great lens. Have had it for 2 weeks now. Mostly use it in macro mode in my search for the Higgs boson. But when not using for subatomic particle work, I use for weddings. One client was getting married a few hundred miles away. Of course I didn’t need to fly in for the wedding. Thank you Sigma. Yes, this lens has its drawbacks, we all know about them – yes you are actually focusing on things that potentially happened long ago – get over it. With low CA and a flat field of view – I can live with the drawbacks.

One note: my copy FF a little when inside the earth-moon radius, and I don’t have AF micro adjust on my rebel xt. Sent in to Sigma for adjustment and came back fine. Even with all the trouble, still great upgrade from my kit lens.

sigma lens transported
Sigma 200-500mm during transportation.

Falls at standard 9.8 m/s^2

Took this bad boy to the top of the Chrysler building and threw it off. It shattered into a million pieces, exactly as expected. Completely satisfied, would highly recommend.

Here are some more hilarious reviews:

  1. Some may feel that this lens is a tad pricey but many forget about the needless things in their life that they can sell in order to purchase this beast. I immediately sold my vehicle because I was finally able to convince myself that I only use my vehicle a couple hours out of the day.
  2. I bought this lens about 11 months ago, today I used it to spot Osama Bin Laden and then when I turned from AF to MF, I killed him. Justice has been done
  3. I purchased this lens with the intent to look back in space-time and see the Big Bang unfold first hand.
  4. Build quality is pretty nice since the body is constructed of 100% pure unobtainium, and there’s not a lot of that around these days anymore. The battery pack straps chafed my shoulders. I think, given the price, something with a little padding wouldn’t be too much to ask, but I ordered the Hello Kitty Large Backpack which seems to do better.
  5. By sliding the switch to AF mode (automatic frequency) the Sigma spits out a tingly blanket of high energy gamma rays.
  6. It’s a must for anyone and everyone. Especially photographers. I myself don’t even own a camera, but still love this thing.
  7. The AF mode created what I’ll call the entry “portal” and the MF mode created what I call the exit “portal”. By taking these two shots I’m able to walk into one “portal” and out of the other.
  8. I tried this lens while shooting birds at Yosemite but the park ranger called the SWAT team on me because he thought I was trying to bazooka the wildlife. End of trip.
  9. When it got finally got here I was pretty upset to find out that the green is more like a 68-90-37 than the 68-90-35 that is CLEARLY shown in the picture. Hello? I’m a photographer! Colors matter!
  10. I take lots of outdoor pictures of my extended family who happens to live 30 minutes away.

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